The Best BDSM Gear Buying Guide And Pro Tips

Okay, let us say right out of the door here that all kinds of sex are great.

There are times when the passionate embrace of the one you love for an amazing night of making love is just perfect. Other times, you may want something a bit less romantic comedy and a bit more Gothic thriller.

For those who like to have fun a bit more on the rougher or darker side, picking up some beginner BDSM gear or upgrading what you already have may be just the ticket for enhancing your sex life.

Unfortunately, the fact that the BDSM genre is so large and encompassing, mixed with the massive swath of BDSM gear producers for men and women both.

No matter if you are new to BDSM gear and sex toys or more experienced with them, this buying guide is set up to help everyone find the best possible sex toy for them and their partners.

BDSM And Bondage Q&A

First, let's take a look at BDSM and bondage-type play.

We'll look at what types of BDSM play is common (though there are plenty more that are far from common), as well as tips on proper ways to play within the realm of BDSM experiences.

Why do people enjoy various forms of BDSM play?

First, let's take a look at BDSM and bondage-type play.

We'll look at what types of BDSM play is common (though there are plenty more that are far from common), as well as tips on proper ways to play within the realm of BDSM experiences.

The first thing to remember is that mainstream pop culture has helped create an image of a creepy underground culture of a limited number of people. The truth cannot be farther from that faux image.

There are millions and millions of people all over the world that enjoy some form of BDSM. In some cases, they may not even consider what they are into a form of BDSM play.

Because of this massive range of people and tastes, we can't speak for certainty to any one person or group within the BDSM community.

Overall, we can tell you why many of the people we know and play with are into this type of fun.

The biggest reason for engaging in bondage and other types of BDSM along those lines is to find a higher level of emotional connection with your partner.

This type of sex play requires a great deal of trust, a fact that cannot be overstated. This gives those engaged in BDSM activities a more intimate emotional reaction in many cases.

Some people enjoy the feeling of being controlled or being submissive to another person.

Giving over near-complete control of you, your body, and your actions to another human can have an immense effect on how your body reacts to physical sensations.

Physically, people may simply like the feeling of being tied up or restrained or dealing with the physical challenges that come with being restrained.

On the other side, you have those that enjoy inflicting pain or being the one in control.

This is for the most common forms of BDSM. When you dig a little deeper into things like sensory deprivation, there can be other pleasures that come from it.

Being blindfolded can cause more alertness to your other senses, especially the sense of touch.

Exploring these sensations in new and exciting ways can lead you and your partner to reach amazing heights of sexual pleasure.

The thing that you must always remember is to have consent and give respect. BDSM can be dangerous if not done carefully with trusted parties.

What does consent look like with BDSM?

As we have said and will say, trust is the key to truly enjoying the BDSM lifestyle at all. This begins with consent.

All parties involved need to give consent specifically for the activities and types of play. This will not only ensure everyone is okay with the fun, but it is also a way of handing over trust and control to your partner.

It is imperative to note that consent for one activity does not automatically imply consent for another. Be very careful, especially when playing with new partners.

There are some cases where the entire point is the feeling of non-consent. This usually encompasses some form of rough role-play where someone will fight or verbally refuse advances from another person.

During consent, it should be made clear what is going to happen and what each person expects. Other issues need to be clearly defined, such as "No" or "Stop" actually being part of the experience.

Instead, be sure to choose a safe word that will signal to stop the play. Make sure this is a word that would not normally come up during your scene or sex play.

In some BDSM play, participants are unable to speak due to gags, balls, or some other similar item. For these situations, people often use a dropped object.

A dropped object is any object that can be held in hand and dropped when it is time to end. For some, the fun part is in using the dropped object in the mouth or some other creative manner.

These consensual non-consensual types of activities and play are not recommended for those new to BDSM play.

Things can get murky, and lines can easily be crossed if both parties are not experienced and aware of this type of sex play.

Everyone must be consenting and enjoying the activities, whatever they may be.

Are there safety issues to consider? 

When not used correctly, there is a chance for almost any toy to be harmful in some way. This is especially true when you are dealing with bondage and other BDSM sex play.

If you are new to this sort of sex play, it is always best to start easy and work your way up. Some things may take some adjusting to before genuinely being able to enjoy them.

There is indeed a wide array of activities and play involved in BDSM sex play, but there are some things that can be applied generally to a lot of those activities:

• Lubricant is your friend. Use it often for both anal and vaginal penetration for maximum pleasure.
• Never go straight to large toys. Warm-up your anus with fingers or smaller anal sex toys.
  Cleanliness will keep you safe and healthy.
• Always clean all sex toys before and after each use.
• Do not tie someone up with rope if you have not practiced ahead of time for safety.
• Have a safe cutting tool available when using rope in case anything goes wrong.
• Keep an eye on any circulation issues during bondage and restraint play. This can be especially important with rope.
• Know any medical conditions or issues that may affect any BDSM play before engaging in activities.
• Unless otherwise discussed and agreed upon, start pain and impact sessions lightly and work your way up.
• Make sure all BDSM gear such as collars and hoods fit properly. Sometimes, the small things can completely alter the situation.
• Ensure the safety, comfort, and consent of all parties throughout your activities.
• One thing we cannot say enough is to never leave a restrained person alone. Bondage can come with deadly risks if not safe.

What are the different sensations with BDSM toys? 

It would be impossible to list every toy and how they differ from each other, especially with an area of sexual arousal as large as BDSM.

The human body and mind can work together to harness the power of many different sensations and pleasures.

In one example of this range, you have those BDSM members that enjoy the giving or receiving of pain in its various forms.

This may seem like a large part of the BDSM identity, but it is only one part of a much larger community.

Pain, in itself, can come in a wide range of states. One one end, you have your more basic items.

These can include things like ticklers and nipple clamps. These offer light sensations on the pain scale.

Moving up, you will find more grand toys and items at your disposal. This middle-of-the-pain-road area will include things such as paddles and floggers.

These can be softer or harder, depending on the needs and wants of the users.

Hitting the higher end of this pain scale, you can access things like balls crushers and canes.

These items provide a greater sting or painful sensation and are not generally suggested for new BDSM fans.

Again, this is a small example of only one small aspect of the BDSM community at large.

Once you start experimenting and finding out what you enjoy, the possibilities will be nearly limitless.

The Main Types of Toys & Gear

1. Bondage Kits

5. Bondage Rope

This one simple thing can be used in so many different sexual acts that vary from the very tame to most extreme.

Because of this, there is a wild variety of bondage ropes, or simple rope-like items, on the market and in adult shops.

The bondage rope is another tool that plays into gaining or losing control of or to another person.

Different types of materials can also bring in new and different sensations to enjoy and experience.

6. Yokes and Spreaders

Spreaders and yokes refer to larger devices that spread and hold your partner's limbs in a variety of positions.

The more common styles are arm or leg spreaders that simply hold your partner's arms or legs open, but you can find them to hold a variety of kinky and wild positions.

Yokes and spreaders contain restraints to hold limbs in place.

7. Collars

Collars are an essential part of almost any bondage and BDSM sex play.

The sign of the ultimate submissive relationship, a collar is meant to show that one is not only controlled but, practically entirely owned by their partner or another person.

The common use of collars has led to a massively broad array of styles, makes, and even materials.

Like most BDSM and bondage gear, you can find collars in leather, vegan, nylon, and many other material varieties.

8. Gags

A gag offers a way to deprive a sub of the ability to speak until they are allowed or told to.

Gags can come in a lot of different types, but they all are created to serve the same purpose.

It should be noted here that it does take some getting used to using gags.

They are often hard and are meant to hold your mouth open for long periods. This can be painful at first, so easing into it is highly recommended.

They do make gags that are a bit easier to use for beginners. Look for gags that are from a material such as silicone that has a little more give in it than hard plastic or rubber.

Look for one that has a hole for breathing until you or your partner are more comfortable with breathing only through your mouth.